It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
