I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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