paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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