Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
