my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
