don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Operation Purity has been aborted
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
