cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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