i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
