I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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