hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
