Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
