I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
