Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
