How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
