and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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