I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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