Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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