I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
