guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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