I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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