if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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