I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize