I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She's JV to your varsity
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
