I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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