a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
