i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize