He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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