the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
