YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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