i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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