Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
