i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
