For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
