sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Another day, another engagement, another cat
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
