She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
