Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
