I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
