what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
