There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
