i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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