Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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