I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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