i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
