yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
