my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
