I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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