I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
