No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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