whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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