I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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