i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she looked like the before picture.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
