even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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