One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
