Acid is not a monday night drug
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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