I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
