Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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