Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
