Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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