TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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