Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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