you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
