whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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