I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
we made out on top of his cat.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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