Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
